Wednesday night...must be time for The Apprentice: Martha Stewart! (tagline: not as good as Donald's, but still better than most of what's on tv) Tonight's task -- create a "mobile billboard" to advertise Tide to Go. Let's check in with the teams...

First up: Matchstick. Their idea involves "Tide to Go Man." As soon as I saw Ryan in the costume, well, let's just say it made the entire hour worthwhile. I actually laughed out loud. Hard. In fact, I'm still laughing. If the task is measured with the ever popular "applause-o-meter," they have this task in the bag.

Over at Primarius, there are laughs as well. Of course, I'm laughing at them, rather than with them. Sarah, who apparently has no leadership skills whatsoever, has them all brainstorming silently. This, by the way, is a slam dunk for riveting television. Finally, Bethenny & Howie take matters into their own clearly capable hands, and start calling around to book acrobats and jugglers. I am watching the show as I am typing, and I still have no idea what their concept is.

Now, the performance section of the show. Matchstick has a boxing ring where Ryan boxes various stains. There's actually a good crowd around, and lots of people trying the pen. Meanwhile, Primarius is out on their flatbed truck rapping about Tide to Go. Oh my goodness. You know how sometimes on these shows there is something that is so bad it's good? This was so bad it was past the point of good television. The entire team should be fired. If nothing else, they should get some sort of permanent stamp on their resume (or their foreheads) that says "Do NOT hire for a job in marketing. Ever." Of course, Matchstick wins by a landslide. And in an actual shocker, Sarah can't believe that they lost. This, does, however, answer the question of whether she is naturally blonde.

Martha doesn't do "boardroom"; she has her "conference room." And this is where her show differs so greatly from Donald's -- he would have already yelled at them, and maybe even fired the entire team. But there are a lot of questions, and, of course, no answers. (and by the way, what on earth is the deal with Charles? Carrying around an unlit cigar just doesn't seem very "Martha." Does he think it looks good? Oh dear...) Ok, we're back from commercials, and Martha is finally getting harsh with them. (you go girl!) And, thankfully, she fires both Sarah & Carrie with her lackluster catchphrase "you just don't fit in." They were both so bad...thank goodness they're both gone.

(by the way, gotta love the Thelma & Louise-type moment at the end where the girls walk down the long hallway holding hands. Please please please tell me that they did that on their own, and not because some production assistant thought it would be good tv!)

Next week? Jim's on live tv...oh my...