After Monday’s tease, tonight was actually the finale of Skating With Celebrities. And my favorite part has nothing to do with the show itself.

You see, my husband hates shows like this. He sits on the couch, reading a book, claiming not to be watching. And when it’s time for someone to be eliminated, he always says that he wants them to be “launched into the sun.” So when John & Jillian did their first performance, I wondered out loud (to no one in particular, really) if this was the performance where she tried to flip around through John’s legs. And all of a sudden my husband replies, and tells me which performance this one was. Stunning. Absolutely stunning.

Anyways, the show itself was fine – having all the skaters on the ice together was rather painful. And there was far more “filler” tonight than skating. But finally, we got to skating.

Kristy and Lloyd, in spite of way too many ruffles on Lloyd’s costume, skated a strong, clean performance. It was high energy, and they threw in all the “big tricks,” including a great spin at the end (with Kristy being spun around Lloyd’s head by only one arm!). They just skated great.

John and Jillian’s performance was so different – a slower, romantic performance. It had a totally different feel – really beautiful, rather than a bunch of tricks strung together.

So the scoring? Well, for me, it really comes down to whether you placed a higher emphasis on the tricks or the artistry. I would give it to Jillian and John – I think they were so consistent throughout the entire performance. And just because Jillian fell, well, she fell because she took a giant risk.

In the end, it went to Kristy and Lloyd, even though neither team could do the math quickly enough in their heads (oh, come on). And I guess the real losers are people like me, who invested seven hours of my life into it. Just think of what I could have accomplished in seven hours. Wow.

Skating With Celebrities hoodwinked me tonight. And believe me, they got me good.

But, before we get to the skating (which, by the way, took a painfully long time to get to), an Olympic side note. Did you see two (yes, two) members of the “cast” at the Olympics last week? John Nicks is the coach of silver medalist Sasha Cohen. (so you know that at some point in this show thinking, “I coach Olympians…what am I doing here???) And there was also John Zimmerman, cheering on his wife, Italian skater Silvia Fontana. He definitely had the look of “my wife is skating in the Olympics, while I’m skating with celebrities…sigh…”

So, back to the show. They are really stretching this one out – having commentary from the eliminated couples, footage of the training sessions, bringing everyone back to skate again (which, for me, really highlighted why the judges were ridiculous to not eliminate Bruce & Tai the first week). In fact, Kristy and Lloyd didn’t even skate their “short program” until 42 minutes into the show. SO tedious. For those of you who didn’t have the luxury of fast forwarding through some of this, well, I don’t know how you did it.

The actual programs (yes, there were actual programs in there) were good. John & Jillian started off showing that they were willing to throw the big tricks, even if it meant big risks. And their first lift didn’t go great – the pull-through didn’t really, well, pull-through. But they were still rewarded with big scores. Kristy & Lloyd countered with a very different program – slow, romantic, beautiful. Rumor has it that they’ve started dating, so the “romanticness” (yes, I’m sure that’s a word) was genuine.

So, you would think that since I noticed that Kristy & Lloyd didn’t skate until 42 minutes in, I would have realized that we wouldn’t be seeing the end of this tonight. But, I didn’t. I somehow missed the fact that even though Fox told us that tonight was the season finale, it was really only part 1 of the finale. Listen to me Fox – I’m not a fan of being tricked into watching your shows! It’s bad enough that I choose to watch this crap – don’t lie to me on top of it.

Irony was the name of the game in this week’s episode of Skating With Celebrities. And not because of the liberal use of the word “celebrity.” First off, you could be watching actual Olympic level ice skating – instead, so many of you chose to watch Bruce Jenner. That’s right, while the actual pairs figure skating competition was going on, millions of Americans watched “celebrities” skate. Oh, the irony.

The good news is that two of the performances were actually pretty good. Jillian & John were great again. I love the lifts that they did, especially after I watched the “things to look for in lifts” segment during the Olympics (yes, that’s right, I watched the real pairs competition…reality tv got the tivo). Did you know that one key to a lift is that the male skater should have the same speed when he ends the lift as when he started it (so keeping the speed throughout)? And John did a nice job of that. I don’t understand why their marks weren’t higher. This gets me to another bit of irony. They were marked down for doing some of the exact same lifts and spins two weeks in a row. Yet later in the show, those same judges commented that a pair should have a “signature move,” and do it each performance. Wait. So should they have done that crazy spin lift both times or not?

So that brings us to Bruce and Tai. More irony here, as the name of the game was speed. Did you see any speed? Because I sure didn’t. It was almost painful to watch. Kurt Browning must be at home watching this just baffled as to why he’s out and these two are in.

With the only fairly judged performance of the night (and maybe of the competition), Kristy and Lloyd’s performance was the highlight of the night. They were really excellent, and you can tell just how athletic Lloyd really is. And they really deserved the high marks to not have to participate in the skate off.

After the skate off (and come on, a skate off???), the irony was palpable. John Nicks (aka, “Simon of the skating show”) said, “In my opinion, you are the best skaters in this entire competition, but here you are, fighting for your lives to get to the next round. I don’t understand it at all.” You don’t understand it at all? Really? It’s because you and the other two judges keep giving them lower scores than other pairs. It’s because you keep giving Bruce & Tai high marks. You really don’t understand? Wow.

At least justice was served in the end, and the two best pairs are in the finals. It should make for an interesting show.

I admit it – I watched tonight’s episode of Skating With Celebrities. Even though I said I wouldn’t, I did. Sigh...

The upside of watching tonight’s episode was that the first two pairs were really good. Kristy & Lloyd were fantastic. The first lift, where he spun her around his head, was phenomenal. And the two to one handed death spiral was great. They got big, well deserved scores.

John & Jillian were great too. While it didn’t look like their program was as technically packed as Kristy & Lloyd’s (probably because of Jillian’s rib), there is so much chemistry between the two of them that you hardly noticed. I do, though, wonder if the judges awarded them scores that would tie Kristy & Lloyd on purpose.

One question about Jillian – during the tape of them practicing, she was wearing a pink cap with what looked like black electrical tape on it. What was on that cap that a producer made her cover up? And if she needed to cover something up, why didn’t she just take the cap off?

Anyways, Nancy & Dave’s performance actually garnered a response from my husband (who really hates this show). Well, more like a plea…I believe his exact words were “noooooo!” -- during the “shake it like a Polaroid picture” part of the song, of course. I did NOT need to see that! And what was up with Dorothy giving them a 9.1 for a technical score? Yikes.

Bruce and Tai capped off the evening with what was really a clever ploy for more airtime. For those of you who didn’t realize it, the song they skated to was by last season’s American Idol, Carrie Underwood. It was actually the big song she sang on the show. You just know that the Fox tie-in earned them a couple of extra points. And it was important, considering Tai forgot one of the most important rules of figure skating – watch out for the boards. She played it off really well though – I actually rewound it because I wasn’t positive if it was a mistake or planned.

So, Nancy & Dave went home because Bruce & Tai got more pity points (or, as my husband says, they are scoring on a curve) than they did. Hopefully next week they’ll go home too, and we’ll be left with two really good teams.

Before I go into a full-out rant about tonight’s episode of Skating With Celebrities, I must make this statement: Yes, I know how ridiculous it is to get worked up about a reality show. A really really bad reality show. A reality show that should really have never been made. I know. I’m just lame like that. That being said…

What on Earth was up with the judging on tonight’s episode of Skating With Celebrities? I give a lot of credit to Kristy Swanson & Jillian Barberie. If I were them, after I heard my scores on tonight’s episode, I would have walked right off the set. For whatever reason, the judges have an agenda, and are simply assigning scores to make the results work for that agenda.

In the segments showing the teams practicing, most of the competitors talked about stepping up their routines, and adding more difficulty. But the team that added the least amount of difficulty was rewarded with the highest scores. I would love to know what the criteria are that the judges are using. Because apparently skating around in a circle works if you’ve won an Olympic medal in track. Oh – dressing in drag works too…especially for these judges. I defy anyone to explain to me why Bruce & Tai earned an 8.5 while Kurt & Deborah earned a 7.9.

I would imagine that the target audience for this show are people (ok, women) who usually watch figure skating. So why not judge the competition in a way that would make sense to those people. Heck, in a way that makes sense to any people would be nice. I like Nancy Kerrigan and all, but the program she skated tonight with Dave was barely watchable. And Tai & Bruce’s program was horrific. It really looked like he was just skating around the rink. Yes, I understand that he’s much older than the other competitors. Maybe that means that he shouldn’t have agreed to do the show.

I know – I am getting myself really worked up about a silly tv show. A really silly tv show. Sigh…

There is no question in my mind that the order of competitors (in spite of trips and falls) should have been – 1. John & Jillian; 2. Kristy & Lloyd; 3. Kurt & Deborah; 4. Nancy & Dave; 5. Bruce & Tai.

One last question – how can Fox keep promoting this show as celebrities skating live? This is just not true. Tonight’s episode was taped at least a week ago, since they showed segments from tonight’s show during the previews last week. Yes, they are skating in front of a “live audience” (meaning simply that there are actual people in the stands), but that’s not what Fox has been saying. In fact, judging from the previews we saw before the first show even aired, I believe the show was shot weeks (or even months) ago.

Stay tuned to see if I actually watch this silliness next week…

After watching "celebrities" skate, tonight's episode of The Bachelor: Paris was a welcome relief. And, because ABC cancelled Emily's Reasons Why Not after only one episode (seriously, how much does you show have to suck to be cancelled after one episode, while Bruce Jenner continues to ice skate?), they showed last week's episode as well. Way to go ABC.

Now, even though we've only had three episodes, I'm starting to get attached to some of the girls. I love both Sarahs -- they both seem to be the most "real" of all the girls. I loved that Sarah from Canada actually pointed out to Travis that she wasn't giving the "right" answers. And Sarah from Tennessee is really there for Travis -- not because she gets exposure on a tv show. I like Susan as well...it looks like she and Travis have a genuine connection.

On the other end of the spectrum are the girls I wish had gone home. Tara is more and more obnoxious. Why does she feel the need to break up Travis and whoever he is having one on one time with? It is just so catty. And then there's Moana. She reminds me of arguments I would have with my little sister growing up. You know what I'm talking about. There would be a new book/dress/cupcake that she just wasn't interested in. That is, until I wanted it. Then she fought until she got it. Come on -- you all know what I mean. Moana seems like she only wants Travis because all the other women want Travis. Her whole body language changes depending on whether or not Travis is in the room. And when Shiloh was eliminated, she didn't even get up at first to say goodbye. Come on. At least pretend you're a nice person.

And we can't forget Travis. He continues to be one of the best Bachelors yet. Yes, he started kissing girls this week. But that's all. And he's not getting all slobbery with them yet (although Sarah from Canada sure tried). Travis -- way to be a gentleman.

I almost forgot the most important part of the episode -- the friends. That was great. I just loved their quiz, especially the rings. When I got engaged, I actually asked for a smaller diamond than most of my friends were getting. Really. (I know, my husband was surprised too) I have tiny hands, and I'm a tomboy -- a big diamond would be ridiculous. So it was funny to see what the girls were choosing. And talent? Well, a few of them could make it on to David Letterman with their stupid human tricks. I think they did a good job setting up the dates.

The rose ceremony wasn't a surprise at all -- I was surprised that Shiloh got a rose last week over Cole. The previews for next week look good -- I wonder who the "mystery" guests are. From the legs, they look to be women (although if you saw American Idol last week, I could be wrong). Maybe they are sisters, or friends, or girls from previous seasons. Or rejected girls...oooh...that would be a good twist! I should really call ABC...

There's something so captivating about watching a really bad show. One of those things that you can't bear to watch, yet you can't bear to tear your eyes away. And Skating with Celebrities tonight certainly didn't disappoint.

Now, don't get me wrong -- I enjoyed watching tonight's episode. Although I do feel a little strange for it. Almost like I am cheating on real figure skating (I swear, it didn't mean a thing!!). But the fact of the matter is that this was nothing like real figure skating. Ok, there was ice, and skates, and flashy costumes. But did you see Bruce Jenner? One look at him and Tai is enough to tell you that this is not real skating.

Speaking of Bruce Jenner, it was quite the victory for him tonight. He wasn't eliminated. He didn't fall. He didn't break a hip. Definitely a moral victory.

And poor Debbie (oh, I'm sorry, Deborah) Gibson. Her program with Kurt Browning (who is one of the best skaters in the competition) was fantastic. She is clearly working hard. And it was enjoyable to watch them skate. But "know your audience" bit them in the butt. There is no way that those judges are fans of Grease. And that was clear from the scores.

Speaking of the judges, can someone please explain to me what is up with the American Idol knock-offs? Seriously. They have the cranky Brit, the perky woman (who is the only actual star) who likes everyone, and the random minority (in this case, gay, not black). And how could they not like Jillian and Ryan. That performance was actually watchable. And enjoyable. And better than what you would see at a local ice rink show (trust me -- I've been to ice skating recitals). Yet they weren't rewarded by the judges. Go figure.

So Jenni & Todd were eliminated, even though their performance was much better than Tai & Bruce (who, remember, did not break a hip) or Nancy & Dave. Sure, Todd slipped. But their performance was really good. Oh well.

Ok, so I thought that Skating With Celebrities sounded like a horrible idea. And really, it still might be. But just like you know you have to look when you drive by an accident, you just can't help but watching it. I know I can't tear my eyes away.

A quick word on what Fox is trying to copy with this show, Dancing with the Stars. I like the show. I watch the show. But I have nothing to say about it. (hence, no blog entries so far) I'm sure if something interesting happens, I'll have something to say. But for now, it's a nice diversion on Fridays (yes, I know it is on on Thursdays...it happens to be on opposite two of the only two sitcoms worth watching, My Name is Earl and The Office, so I tivo it and watch it on Fridays). For the most part, I hate when Fox tries to copy a hit show, especially since their versions are rarely as good. But this one, promoted as "anyone can ballroom dance...", well, really takes it to the next level.

That being said, I really enjoyed tonight's show. I follow figure skating (phew, it felt good to say that in public), so it was cool to see the skaters doing something very different. And these "celebrities" (does the uncle from Full House really qualify as a celebrity??), well, lets just say watching them attempt to skate makes good television.

My favorite performance of the night was definitely Jillian & Ryan. I love Ryan Zimmerman in general (remember, I actually follow figure skating...I know some of you are still trying to comprehend that), and he and Jillian are really good together. They are clearly the pair to beat.

Speaking of scores, what is Summer Sanders doing on this show? There she is, waiting for them in the "kiss & cry." Sure she's an Olympic athlete, but a summer Olympian! She's a swimmer! Oh, please let this not mean that this summer we'll be seeing Swimming with Celebrities...

Anyways, for what it's worth, I liked it. A lot. And since the previews show blood and broken bones, it can only get better.